MAD Cliches

I thought I'd 08 remix/update some of the cliches we've all grown to love and still use...yet dont make sense and usually dont apply to this day and age. Use these to help you get through life and pass them on to your grandchildren:

1. alls well that ends pretty badly usually.

2. a penny saved is sad.

3. the grass is always greener where you water it.

4. 2 wrongs dont make a right...but it evens shit out.

5. the apple doesnt fall far from the tree unless its a big tree and its windy.

6. dont bite the hand that feeds you...lick it.

7. dont count your chickens before they hatch...matter fact dont count chickens.

8. dont eat where you shit unless ur a shit eater or in a really really small place.

9. if it aint broke...break it...then dont fix it.

10. if it walks like a chic, quacks like a chic,looks like a chic, check the adams apple.

11. keep your head above water...unless ur a fish...then thats not such a good idea.

12. knock on wood...and if its a door your tryna enter...you get a twofer.

13. look what the cat dragged in...a dead mouse...illll

14. the way to a man's heart is through his stomach...or jus right through his chest if wanna get it over it.

15. when life give you lemons...that can could be pretty confusing...jus work with it.

16. You cant teach an old dog new tricks...but he's fuckin old. give him a break. The old tricks cant be that bad.

17. The early bird gets the worm...but the late bird gets pizza....eh?

18. It aint over til the fat lady sings...but i like to end it before she starts.

19. To each his own...unless your poor. then its to each is everybody's

20. you can't judge a book by its cover...unless its a book cover contest..and ur a judge.

21. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...then gain their trust...then beat em.

MAD Thoughts

You know what i've noticed?...guys dont like peeing next to eachother in the bathroom...at all. If a guy peeing sees another guy coming in...he rushes his piss (which absolutely ruins the experience by the way) so he doesnt have to pee next to em and usually doesnt wash his hands rushing out. And if they absolutely have to, they move so far into the stall that they're practically touching their d*cks to the porcelain. We'd much rather go into the closed stalls. Why? idk...maybe its the forced awkwardness of being next to a complete stranger with ur d*ck in your hand...but who knows. Jus one of the world's wonders i guess. Well...thanks for ur time.

Obama Vs. John McCrazy

I hope everyone seen the last presidential debate. Obama continued to express his views and plans for a better America. He did so extremely clearly backing up his reasoning perfectly and consistently shows genuine concern in the people and our world problems. I mean...you can agree or disagree with his views and values...but thats the beauty of America...you have a choice. All you can ask from a presidential candidate is that you remotley make sense. John McCrazy on the other hand didnt say much but twist everything Obama said to i guess manipulate ignorant people that didnt understand. It got to the point where he jus started sounding ridiculous. Even Obama was laughing throughout the debate. If you didnt catch it...let me give a sample sentence and then a McCrazy twist:

Sentence: "I like rainbows. Flowers are pretty. I have a dog."

McCrazy Twist: "So what you're saying is you hate the trees and want to raise taxes."

...Something like that


Also as the debate went on I couldnt help but notice the left said of McCrazy's face was swelling...maybe it was the pressure. and his left thumb was standing straight up the entire time...like his was tryna hitch a ride out the debate. Theres something weird about that guy...i jus cant put my finger on it.

PLEASE VOTE BOYS AND GIRLS...WE ARE PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH A BAZOOKA

MAD movie review

First of all I'd just like to say that horror flics are the funniest genre because in these so called "serious" situations, the characters seem to always do the complete opposite of what they should do. Then again if they all did what they should do, horror flics would be 25-30 minutes long.

I had the pleasure of viewing the latest in the horror genre...Quarantine. This movie is shot documentary style like Clover Field. Its about a news crew following a fire department for a night hoping they find some action. They end up getting a call about a disturbed woman in an apartment building. The woman ends up attacking the men zombie style. Unlike other "zombie" flics, Quarantine tries to use a more realistic explanation for zombie-like behavior...so the best they could come up with is...rabies...yea rabies. So the apartment gets Quarantined. You would think this was a pretty good setup for a decent horror flic...but...na. Though the movie was mildly entertaining, the stupid behavior made you so mad that cant even enjoy the movie. You were constantly askin yourself and the person next to u..."WTF?"...and it proceeds to disappoint you to the end of the movie. At least they were consistent.

I have an idea for the sequel...This movie gets Quarantined in a apartment building and no one can get to it...THE END. The world is a better place.

Mad Text

Ok I got a confession to make...there's 3 things in the world I'm addicted to...women, the dollar menu and eFFing TEXT MESSAGING. I mean is it me or is that tha greatest thing ever since Captain Planet lunch boxes!?! Its bad...I'm sending like 80-90 messages a day!...I look like "Pookie" from New Jack City while I'm sittin by the phone waitin for a reply...it try to stop...it jus keep callin me..lol...Textin jus gives u a feelin of invincibility...but with all super powers comes great responsibility. So here r 3 simple rules to text by....

Rule #1...I know typing out full words can sometimes b a hassle but PLEASE HAVE SOME KINDA RESPECT FOR THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!! Some of ya'll be buggin...I get textes n its like a untrained monkey sent them to me. Typen ur wrds liek diss iz a-no-ying az phuck!!!...Cut it out ur gonna give spell check a heart attack trying to correct that nonsense

Rule #2...Stop friggen texting people you haven't talked to in years phrases like "hey" or "hi" just because your bored. The only thing that's going to come out of that is the person is just gonna remind you why you stopped talking to them in the first place. Now ur gonna have to deal wit that person blowing your phone up wit stupid texts at 2 in the morning like "what r u doin?"...

Rule #3...This one is especially for the ladies...cut that freaky texting out if you don't mean it!!...there's nothing guys hate more then when a female is sayin wild freaky ish via text then when he calls to confirm she says she was just playing!! That's not something you can say jus playin after!! Like ha ha...u were gonna do 80 mph at 3 a.m. to get to my crib for nothin...its like someone snatched a cookie out our hands, smashed it n then knocked the milk over...all hope for true happiness has been lost...JERK!!

Mad Space

Hey this is to all those girls out there who deem themselves "the shit" in cyberland (Myspace,etc.) probably to make up for their lack of ability to do so in the real world. Does your profile look a lil something like this:

About Me:
Hi my name is bla bla...I like to do this and that. I dont have no time for the bullshit. I know im beautiful so dont tell me anymore cuz i kno already...cuz i am. Guys dont talk to me. But if u do talk to me...dont jus say hey wats up...cuz thats not wat people say in real life wen they meet someone. I want u to write me some long crazy shit to entertain me so can I not respond. And dont make sexual comments about me becuase i will also not respond. Who cares if i have a photo album called "naked" where im in various colored panties n bras in compromising positions showin my ass n such. but...anything else u wanna know about me jus ask.


Who I'd like to meet:
Not no ugly people cuz im tired of ugly people. i only wanna meet beautiful people...and jay-z.


Is this you? its funny because some people are under the impression that networking sites are for networking...but wat do they know right? Granted..guys can be a lil extra but wtf girls. Its like luring a dog in with sausages(they use those in cartoons) jus to shoot him in the head when he arrives. come back to reality.

MAD FACE clip of the week

This clip comes from another one of my favorite comedians, Louis C.K. Its from his new Showtime special "Chewed Up." In this particualy part he's talkin about offensive words and his take on "The 'N' Word"....funny stuff.

MAD Bullsh*t

So i finally saw Babylon A.D. Basically wat you saw in the commercial is what your going to get....explosions and special effects. Dont try to follow the storyline...it just leaves you confused wit the shit face. But let me humor you...apparently Vin Diesel's character used to be in a transporting business of some sort but left for whatever reason but is asked to do one more job...which is transporting a weird chic that may have special powers and was created to have a virgin birth so another crazy lady can profit off her made up religion. So throughout this ball of confusion another group of weird people is trying to intercept her and thats where the action lies...well at least thats what i got from it. Hey...you may have a different storyline when you watch it...or dont.

Mad Random

Ok this is one of those moments when something completely random pops into my head n i decide 2 share it. Hmmm...ok I watchin something on TV (tha shows not important so don't ask) n this guy gets down on one knee to propose to his girlfriend. At that moment I thought to myself...who in D eFF was tha sucka that messed it up for tha rest of us!?!?...Now because of some jerk, if i decide to get married i gotta get my pants dirty...thanks a lot. He musta been tha same clown who invented "chivalry" n tha Lifetime channel. Like I don't mind opening doors or helpin a girl wit her chair...but at tha same time...does it have to b an everyday thing!? Guys need to get together n invent "she-valry" n create out own list of demands...I'll start it off...Demand #1...girlfriends or "girl friends" can't touch tha radio or tha remote...oh n no complainin bout what i'm listenin to or watchin...that's jus rude...so this is Mr. Smith n Mad Face sayin Adias!!..now kick mad rocks....

Mad Mobile

Ok so it's that time of tha year again...the 4th quarter. Basically for regular ppl like you and I this means its time to get ya money up cuz theres a whole lot of stuff comin out that we gotta buy. N if you don't you will probably be laughed at, humilated and forced to become a hermit. So wit that underway...the magic word for tha month of October is "Cell Phone". That's right everyone its time to get ur mobile game up...time to kick ur old mobile phone to tha curb for tha new hot thing like u did ur "safety date" for your highschool prom. So us being tha warm hearted sex symbols we r at MadFace decided to hook u up wit tha October PSA for cell phones...tha top 5 goes like this....

1. Sprint Touch Pro...No phone on tha corner gotta swagger like this one


2. T-Mobile G1...Finally T-Mobile's first hot phone since tha original Sidekick


3. Verizon Blackberry Storm...umm pardon my drool...if you have Verizon n don't get this phone...jus smear mash potatoes on ur face n walk around like that...this way ppl will at least think ur crazy instead of stupid...


4. Sprint Touch Diamond...Basically tha same as the Touch Pro, minus the slideout keyboard


5. Nokia 5800 XpressMusic...pretty dope touch screen phone

Ok well that's it...Me...i'm getting tha G1. Oh n if ur phone service provider doesn't have a phone on this list, then that means u probably have AT&T n theres always next month...probably not tho...Adias!!